Ritual Undressing - Advanced

Yoni and lingam are the tantric names for the male and female genitals. They do play an important role in sexuality, however they are typically used as tools instead of being honoured and respected. In our culture we generally speak pejoratively or “dirty” about them. Many people cannot even imagine honouring and admiring yoni and lingam as important organs of creation which give life and joy and have the ability to connect people deeply. The first step in giving honour is taking time for yoni and lingam – looking at them and showing them to each other in every loving detail. How do they prefer to be called, touched, stimulated? For women it is useful to first explore their own yoni in a mirror and to admire the uniqueness of this marvel. This ritual should take place in a partnership. After the ritual undressing described above, showing the sex centres can now follow: the external details as well as the “hidden” needs, longings, fears and blockages. Take a long time for this. Maybe you would like to take a picture? In a woman there are various facets to admire – the outer and inner petals, the placement of the clitoris, the entrance to the temple. The lingam also has so many different facets: sometimes a large sac which can feel totally soft and sometimes be completely contracted; the glans; and the frenulum, the rim of the glans. Which part is the most sensitive? We usually don’t take the time to simply look at or show this marvel of creation, instead using the body functionally. Finally, yoni and lingam receive loving and nourishing touches with the message: “At last you can relax. You do not have to “perform” at all.” The lingam may be held purposelessly for a while and then massaged and caressed with oil without intentional, sexual stimulation. Conclude with one hand or both hands still on or around the lingam. Do the same procedure for the yoni. Very few yonis know the feeling of simply being held and enveloped by a man’s hand. Simultaneously, the other hand may caress the woman’s face to say, “You don’t have to do anything, no need to perform. You may breathe out deeply and relax!” This is to release all the pressure that man and woman put on each other during sex. It isn’t necessary to “generate” orgasms, which is often tried with much diligence, commitment and effort. Now there is no target, no ‘result’ in sight; you are simply together in authenticity, honesty and relaxation. Just like that. If you do need to do something, breathe deeply and fully into your yoni or lingam. You may conclude the ritual with a Heart Embrace skin-to-skin, or a gentle penetration.